A personal reflection on finding deeper meaning in Ramadan's nightly prayers after years of going through the motions.
I'll be honest with you. For years, taraweeh was something I did because everyone else did it. You show up, you pray, you go home. Rinse and repeat for 30 nights.
But last Ramadan, something shifted.
It was around the 21st night. I was exhausted - work had been brutal that week, and I'd barely slept. I almost skipped. Almost stayed home. But something pulled me to the masjid anyway.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"Whoever stands in prayer during Ramadan out of faith and seeking reward, his previous sins will be forgiven." — Sahih al-Bukhari 37, Sahih Muslim 759
I'd heard this hadith a hundred times. But that night, it hit different.
The imam recited Surah Ar-Rahman. And I don't know if it was the fatigue breaking down my usual walls, or if Allah simply opened my heart at that moment, but every single "Fa bi ayyi ala'i rabbikuma tukazziban" hit different.
"So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?" — Quran 55:13
Which of the favors of your Lord will you deny?
I found myself actually thinking about it. The air in my lungs. My mother's voice on the phone that morning. The fact that I even have a masjid to walk to.
I cried. Right there in the middle of prayer. The brother next to me probably thought I was having some kind of breakdown. Maybe I was.
Allah tells us in the Quran:
"The month of Ramadan is that in which the Quran was revealed, a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion." — Quran 2:185
That's when I understood that taraweeh isn't about checking a box. It's about showing up, tired and imperfect, and letting the Quran do its work on your heart.
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If you're reading this during Ramadan, and you're tired, and you're thinking about skipping tonight - just go. You don't have to feel spiritual. You don't have to understand every word. Just show up.
Allah does the rest.
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